There’s a particular sneaky lie that seems to find it’s way into the therapeutic, spiritual and personal development worlds.

And that is that if you want good things to happen- you have to feel good.

Want to grow your business? You must heal your trauma.

Want to attain your dreams? You must dwell in a regulated nervous system and radiate positive vibes.

Want to get in touch with the unfathomable god head at the core of existence? You must bubble yourself in bliss and comfort.

As though the peak state were the point of life.

As though we could grasp the cloud and make it stay forever.

Yes, we all want and deserve to feel good. And I am a fan of therapy and trauma healing.

But the sacred heart of life is not this dualistic, narrow or linear in its operation.

Life is far more wild.

And Love is far more mysterious.

Some of the greatest art and wisdom to enter this world was born out of suffering.

The great awakenings of saints were sparked in the belly of darkness.

Sometimes suffering burns away the false and illuminates our essence.

Sometimes healing looks like heartbreak.

Sometimes a spiritual awakening feels like you’re being dragged through hell.

My personal soul path and purpose was radically ignited during a time when my world was crumbling to pieces.

It was from within the lowest state of my life that I stepped into the deepest blessings I’ve ever received.

These times of holy darkness are known as spiritual emergencies.

Underworld Initiations.

The crisis of the soul.

They are sacred.

They do not fit into our tidy boxes of how we think life is supposed to operate.

This untamed truth goes against every colonial and capitalist fantasy being sold. That you can will your life into the form and shape you wish.

But life is more than this. You are more than this.

You are part of the body of reality in its unfathomable totality.

The path of soul is spiral.

Never Line.

Feeling good is not the only state from which good things flow.

Sometimes the divine is draped in darkness.

Sometimes falling apart is the best thing to ever happen to us.

Sometimes failure is the medicine.

You are not a project to be fixed and purified.

There is no final destination where life’s seasons halt into perpetual summer.

Your life was not designed to be a linear series of achievements and positive progression.

Existence is far more wild and beautiful than this.

Love is far more deep and mysterious than this.

All of Her seasons are holy.

Expansion and contraction make creation bloom.

Sometimes the deepest gifts arrive in a box of suffering.

The Rose of the heart does not bloom without the thorn.